I’m sick and tired of subtweets.
Subtweets are basically the epitome of digital passive-agressiveness… precariously bordering on downright aggressive. According to Urban Dictionary, “subtweet” is short for “subliminal tweet” which is directly referring to a particular person without mentioning their name — i.e. talking about someone behind their back (but actually directly in their face on Twitter).
Subtweeting happens all the time at my school. There is a group of people who think they’re awesome that they always have these “witty” observations about everyone else.
“Wearing sunglasses and carrying a purse to school. #whodoyouthinkyouare.”
“I feel so awkward for some people #awkward”
“I love it when girls act like they’re still in middle school. It’s so adorable.” (condescending tone)
The funny thing is, sub-tweeting is probably the most middle school move of all. So what if a 14-year old is concerned with their eye-health, and likes to carry a purse? So you feel “awkward” for someone… thanks for sharing! I feel awkward for you, spending hours a day thinking of “witty” little things to say about people on Twitter! I can see that you “love it when girls act like they’re still in middle school” — that’s what you’re doing! Yay for self-love!
Subtweeting works the exact opposite of how you want it to. First, subtweeting just makes you uncool. Second, you’re blatantly admitting that whoever you’re subtweeting about has the influence to occupy your mind.
Can’t we all just relax a little bit? Let the sunglasses crew wear their sunglasses, let the awkward people be awkward, and you all can just go about acting like middle-schoolers and not bother the rest of us who just want to read our tweets in peace. I think we should all just eat a cookie and relax, even better, a cookie monster cupcake! I was inspired to make these by a tweet I saw — I would have seen this tweet sooner if it wasn’t for all of the subtweets I had to scroll through! *sigh*
But alas, I have realized that this blog post is sort of a “subliminal blog post” against all “subliminal tweeters.” Oh well, before I dig myself deeper into this icky, subliminal hole, let me show you all how to make cookie monster cupcakes! Yay!
1 batch of your favorite cupcake recipe
24 small chocolate chip cookies, such as Chips Ahoy. If you’re feeling ambitious you could even make your own!
48 white candy melts (for the eyes)
48 chocolate chips or brown M&Ms (for the pupils)
1 cup butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 to 2 tablespoons milk
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